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Four of Arrows

by Great Grandpa

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1.
All things fade into dark green water down by the lake Mistakes were made and that's the heart of this pain But I'll rejoice, I won't give anything But forgiveness once you have the courage to explain I learned this phrase from my father He said "no perfection can ever bring joy" Or, "there's none without it" Like a life that has a start but no end All aspiring comes with equal consequence, like some things we abuse and the joys they prevent And I'll numb or stall all fall and pretend that dark water will cloak all our deepest intent I said, you got this heart from your Mother She bears all our suffering through the longest of years, too long lately, like a life that has a start but no end I fear flawless life in a pure sense. Hold on best I can to a place where: All things fade into dark green water down by the lake Mistakes were made and that's the heart of this pain But I'll reflect I wont ask anything but forgiveness once I have the courage to explain
2.
Digger 04:54
Digger, you're no superstar purpose on the arm But family in the heart Digger, fighting with the cards Patterns in the noise And questions that are hard A rock in retrograde Says endure pain today All things must evolve or fade The tarot cards made me laugh A guardian on the path Hard to dream like i need to Subtlety as a way through Digger, digging til he starves Slipped away from silent Rest and carved the arm Digger, fighting with the art Hand off fate to chaos something to outsmart That’s why I hate you (digger that’s enough) you're in my dreaming space Erase these quivering weights And replace with aphantasia's grace All thoughts filter down To voices in the crowd Shaming for unspoken days Violence in the things they whisper Then the sound gets louder Digger, always in the game never was a game And answers always hang Digger, find another way Arrows 'round the body Sleep and dream in grey That’s why I love you Shouldn't go out in the darkness Should have gone out in the dark
3.
Sitting in an english garden, fold eyes along the line to see Crazed enough to make you hungry, while soft along the contours of a dream While you dream, all end scene. Tried to run these hands long this time But lost it at the edges of the range Wise enough to know the difference but not enough to make the subtle change Softly strange Ugly reins Been waiting for this The snow has melted from the ground Silent stillness Passed it first without notice I'd do anything to stop that feedback Latched tightly to an orbit that careens Across our merging dispositions, fold violent on the outskirts of a peace Been waiting for this Said you felt scared in your message Silent stillness Left on read and did the dishes Been waiting for this Euphoria impregnates perfect sadness Ceaseless noises Summer highland falls loops endlessly
4.
You severed the stone, intently thrown, at the bird in the alley tucked back behind St. Joe’s Half for the windshield of the car across the street The other half lost to the void, like the feeling I had back then Do you feel the same thing that I do? Mono no aware Feel the same thing that I do You thought up a poor lie to veil how the bird died When the adults came by And questioned us in the office kids went to in the worst of times. That was before you brought me down to the basement Where a part of me’s lost to the void, like the feeling I had back then Do you feel the same thing that I do? Mono no aware Feel the same thing that I do I think I’m doing okay these days It’s just the pathos of all things I called you up just so I could say It will be here even if you’re not It will be here even if I’m not Do you feel the same thing that I do? Mono no aware Feel the same thing that I do Remember how I brought up Marguerite’s hands to illustrate the flesh we ate back then? When Grandma slowly faded from Alzheimer’s like a lifeless steak in that empty diner. It now reminds me of my failing grasp of the present, memory, self, and past.
5.
Bloom 04:22
I get anxious on the weekends, when I feel I’m wasting time. But then I think about Tom Petty and how he wrote his best songs when he was 39 Say I’m young enough to change Please say I’m young enough Step into whatever you want to and let your spirit bloom I get anxious on the weekdays, with a fear of missing out But then I think about my good friends and how they always love me when I am feeling down Say I’m strong enough to change Please say I’m strong enough Step into whatever you want to and let your spirit bloom I’m hoping to bloom
6.
Endling 02:50
7.
Rosalie 02:39
The path in her brain gets rewarded again Where it hardens and strengthens in a looping refrain. And masked spectres of the past reveal themselves against her will to slide in this moment, alive again pro tem. There’s an endless expanding drawn in the eyes A soul decomposing, a body alive. Rosalie lives, lives on her own Scared like a german shepherd, in the back of the yard Wait til morning, cares coming by Changing her clothes, listening to Odd things, throw the cereal on the ceiling. Stretched screams, shallow skin, swollen feet. Rosalie lives, lives with her own Home like a TV sitcom, and her kids in the car Wait til nighttime, see her again, hollow and thin Wading through Odd things, throw the cereal on the ceiling Stretched screams, swollen speech, void of meaning Sad scenes can be beared, can be handled No thing keeps me up, keeps us screaming It’s the hardest part, the hardest part Just a relentless regress.
8.
Treat Jar 02:41
I looked in front of me and saw a quarter in the tip jar Shining like the north star, guiding me My water wings I saw everybody else start struggling to feel some kind of thing Been pushing so hard to try and help you You’ll never get the satisfaction That’s why you hate me like you do And I should have known you were perpendicular to my space The feeling left my knees as I floated up to greet you I know what you see when you look at me A tongue and teeth The sea opens beneath you, I just want to feel some gratitude Been pushing so hard to try and help you You’ll never get the satisfaction That’s why you hate me like you do And I should have known you were perpendicular to my space I should have known Still pushing so hard to try and help you But losing the will to see it through And I can’t help you if I can’t help myself You’re gonna have to make your own coffee now And I can’t help you if I can’t help myself You’ll never get the satisfaction That’s why you hate me like you do I looked in front of me and saw my future in the tip jar Everything is hard this time of year The gravity Now everybody else starts struggling to feel some kind of thing
9.
Articulating the feeling is hard When it’s so dense and familiar Do I progress or just run in that spot To Postpone the pain for a moment Keep on this mortal coil A straining on the path You just gotta keep hanging on and it won’t be long Don’t let life take your hard work I know you feel done but you’re still so young Sometimes living is hard hard work I’ve always said that I’m fine when I’m not But my eyes opened when you said You won’t be staying around after long Gut wrenching but what can I do? I caught you in the long gaze A waning telecast You just gotta keep hanging on and it won’t be long Don’t let life take your hard work I know you feel done but you’re still so young Sometimes living is hard, hard work Looming in and out Chaos fosters All my darkest intent I hear it calling now “Please just stay here” Do I fade or do I give in Can’t get out of bed So I’ll just lay here Slow my mind down
10.
Brought out all the kids, waited for their voices to quiet. Girls go with your mother, a better house, new Dad and bigger town. We'll stay just the same, we'll just stay the same. Boys this house is haunted, I hear them in the aching of the grain. Grab the saw and hammer, build a brand new start, a brand new house just ten feet down. We'll stay just the same, we'll just stay the same. It's like she's barely even there. Peeking out the window, waiting for their voices to quiet. Grandpa slammed the car door, driving through the woods and out of sight. She has come too soon, that Sunday afternoon. Gray is in their hair now, still the anger shows in waxen brows. We'll stay just the same, we'll just stay the same It's like he's barely even there. Before his open coffin, Grandma stands beside the fifty years she left behind. Sadness holds me tighter, seeing them together just one time. It's like I'm barely even there.
11.
Mostly Here 06:26
Happy Birthday, dear Paul Older once again Read it on the wall Compare myself to Happy news is you Lazy, unglued Fills selfish grooves Prepare myself to lose If life’s a dream, then I’m not sleeping, I’m not sleeping in Slow to speech The pace is thickening, space is sickening feel And I’m a freak But look at me no signs what you’re missing Faster news to you Nothing to do No one to be Bite with no teeth All the lives we lived And all the lives to be Are full of trees, changing leaves If life’s a dream, then I’m not sleeping, I’m not sleeping in Slow to speech The pace is thickening, space is sickening feel And I’m a freak But look at me no signs of what you’re missing Be a sweeter daughter An honest father A stronger brother Be a selfless mother A selfish lover A mindless hunter

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For the month of June 2020, 100% of the donations made through our Bandcamp will be donated to either NW Community Bail Fund or Black Visions Collective--please let us know where you'd like your donation directed when you purchase.

credits

released October 25, 2019

All Arrangements by Great Grandpa

Dark Green Water, Digger, English Garden, and Endling:
Lyrics and Music by Pat Goodwin

Mono No Aware:
Music by Pat Goodwin and Carrie Goodwin, Lyrics by Pat Goodwin (bridge melody and lyrics adapted from "David" by Ryan Kim)

Bloom:
Music by Pat Goodwin, Lyrics by Pat Goodwin and Alex Menne

Rosalie, Split Up the Kids:
Music by Pat Goodwin, Lyrics by Carrie Goodwin

Treat Jar:
Music by Pat Goodwin, Lyrics by Dylan Hanwright and Alex Menne

Human Condition
Music by Pat Goodwin, Lyrics by Alex Menne and Dylan Hanwright

Mostly Here:
Music by Pat Goodwin, Lyrics by Pat Goodwin and Carrie Goodwin


Produced and Mixed by Mike Vernon Davis
Engineered by Sam Rosson
Mastered by Ed Brooks
Additional Mixing on all songs by Sam Rosson
Additional Production by Sam Rosson, Pat Goodwin and Dylan Hanwright
Additional Editing by Sam Rosson, Tessa Klotz and Christian Brannen
Recorded between January and June 2019 at:
The Way Out, Woodenville, WA
Hall of Justice, Seattle, WA
The Wormhole, Seattle, WA
Cat Parrie Studios, Milwaukee, WI
Photos by Ansley Lee
Album Art by Nick Corbo

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Great Grandpa

Seattle snack rock

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